The power of the mattress?


Now I know people do crazy things to find love, and although I don’t consider myself clinical I am open to ideas. When my friend recommended that I write down all the qualities I want in my partner and place the note under my mattress I was game. I don’t know what you’re thinking but when I heard the note should be placed under my mattress, I was like “is some kind of osmosis supposed to take place?” Either way I did as I was told because it seemed reasonable at the time.

As we get older, we assume we know what qualities we’re looking for in the person we are going to be with. I always said I know the things I don’t want (not that all my experiences were bad, but I think it’s just easier identifying the things that you don’t like) but until this exercise I’m not exactly sure I knew what I wanted. Writing things down definitely helped me clearly see what qualities I find important in someone.

That note had been under my mattress for over a year and a half and in that time I did have an 8 month relationship which ended 7 months ago. Did my boyfriend have all the qualities I wrote down? No. Was my dating experience with him worth it? Yes. Do I think the note had anything to do with anything? No.

This weekend I was cleaning up my apartment and remembered the note under my mattress. The more I thought about the note the more it seemed odd that an intelligent, mature, reasonable women would need some ‘osmosis’ to work in getting the man of my dreams. Whatever came over me at that moment I decided the note needed to be removed and subsequently recycled.

You’re probably thinking did it really matter either way if the note stayed under the mattress or if it was removed? I don’t have a good explanation for you but what I do know is that later that day I went grocery shopping and the men, 3 to be exact, were coming out of nowhere to compliment and/or talk to me. Of course this could just be coincidence which is completely reasonable. But I’m not that reasonable I’m thinking that although I didn’t think about the note maybe somehow ‘osmosis’ was working but instead of it giving me the man of my dreams it was excluding men from my life because they weren’t meeting all the requirements in my note (the note was 4 pages front and back, thorough is an understatement).

Yes I know that you’re now questioning my sanity but I’m feeling a lot better that my options are open once again. It’s great to write down your wants and needs from a partner but most of the time what we say we want and what we get are quite different and that’s not a bad thing. Also isn’t getting to know someone part of the fun of dating, if everyone got exactly what they wanted wouldn’t it be a bit boring (or maybe that’s my Gemini self talking).

Queen B

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