Be careful who you love…

There comes a time in every single gal’s life when she may not make the best choices for herself. When those lonely moments seem more and more frequent and she begins to wonder “will I ever find the love that I desire?”… as she eats another meal alone. This is usually the phase when we let our good sense waiver. Our desire to have someone in our life may lead us to self-destructive behavior. One friend of mine is currently going through this phase; she had gotten involved with a married man. He told her the usual –  that he and his wife have no relationship, that his marriage is just one of convenience for the kids…blah blah blah. He told my friend he loved her but he cannot leave his wife because of the kids, but he also cannot live without her. The classic mind fuck!

Nothing good can come of this and she knows this but she also thinks she loves this man. For her it is better to have half a man than no man at all. She has forgotten that she deserves so much more. She deserves the whole man and that person is just waiting for her to cross his path but she may never get there if she continues settling for half a man. She had asked that I not judge her and I don’t. Sadly I understand what she is feeling. I know how strong the desire to have someone can be. I may not have been with a married man but I have certainly been in relationships where I have devalued who I am and what I deserve. I was hoping the Mr. Wrong would miraculously turn into Mr. Right. He never did.

One night over beers she told Single Chick and I that she’s not happy.  She said she hates everything about the situation but she cannot turn away because she’s in love. I am sure she believes she is in love and there may be some truth to her lover’s words of love. However that does not change the fact that he cannot love her in the way she desires and deserves therefore she must move on. We did advise our friend that she deserves better, and that yes it sucks out there but someone better will come along and that she has her girlfriends to hang with in the meantime. I’m not sure if she will take our advice or not, we hope so but that is her choice. All we can do now is be there for support. So for all you Single Gals who know what this lonely moment feels like, call up your best gal pals, go out and talk about it, believe me…we all understand and it’s okay to admit that sometimes you get lonely. I believe it’s better to feel lonely than be with someone that makes you sad, insecure, unworthy etc. If it is right you will have no doubts, you will feel happy, secure and totally worshiped.

Good Luck out there and remember that you’re not alone!

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