Tips on how to survive Valentine’s weekend when you are single

In case this pandemic has you locked down in a bunker without TV or internet. You are very aware that it’s Valentine’s Day this weekend. We are getting bombarded with ads telling you that if he loves you, he will give you diamonds. Or maybe you have friends that are celebrating Valentine week and getting special gifts daily until the big day. You see post of couples expressing their love and how happy they are to have found their soulmate.

I call bullshit on 80% of those posts and good for you on the 20% that have found their person. I have never been one to get caught up in the hype of Valentine’s Day, it’s not a stat holiday so I deem it useless. Give me that day off work and I will get excited about it.

Does Valentine’s Day get you down?

I know some of you are probably feeling that loneliness of this time of year and it is to be expect. We can’t socialize due to lockdowns and the guilt that if you break the rules you may unknowingly be spreading the virus because you are an a-symptomatic spreader. Then on top of the pandemic stress, you have all the damn ads and posts making you feel unlovable because you are single!

You are loveable and to celebrate all that makes you…You! Take this weekend to show yourself some love and make Valentine’s Day as celebration of your awesome lovable self!

Tips on how to can celebrate you:

  1. Buy something pretty. Have you been eyeing a pretty pair of earrings, or longing to buy those sexy thigh high boots? I am sure there is something you want and are thinking I wish I had someone to buy those for me. Don’t wait for that someone, buy them for yourself. The best gifts are the ones we get ourselves because we get exactly what we want!

  2. Drink till you feel pretty. If you can see your friends, rally the troops and have a girl’s night in. Play games, drink wine, and remind each other that you are all fabulous!

  3. Indulge in you favourite meal. Make your favorite meal, or order from your favourite place. Maybe you have been avoiding carbs and are dying for a pizza, I say make Valentine’s day a guilt free day for indulgence.  

  4. Pamper yourself. Take a long bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine. Give yourself a manicure/ pedicure, put on makeup to go grocery shopping because when you feel good you ooze confidence.
  • Do an act of kindness. Most times the best gifts are the ones we give to others. There is a lot of joy to be had when you know you have brighten someone else’s day. I have a lovely 85 year old neighbour that lost her husband last April so I am going to put a little gift bag together for her and leave at her door on Sunday morning. She is always giving me little treats it the least I can for her.

How will I be celebrating?

My wonderful government is allowing me a single person to mingle with another household during this second round of lockdown in Ontario. I mean it only took them 10 months to figure out that maybe it’s not the best idea to have people living alone be totally isolated.

I have been invited to my brother’s (the household I have been mingling with) for Valentine’s Dinner, I go every week to mooch a meal but this week it’s going to be Valentine’s Day, I was told the menu, but my sister-in-law lost me a homemade chocolate cheesecake!

I am also expecting to get a chocolate man, my sister-in-law has gotten me them in the past, so I’m excited about that. Seriously ladies nothing feels better after a bad day of working for a narcissistic male then coming home to bite the head off your chocolate man.

Whatever you do this weekend enjoy yourself, be kind to yourself and remember you are not alone!

Guilty pleasure Friday – Kingdom edition

Last week Queen B shared with us how she is entertaining herself with TikTok to help get through the pandemic.  I have not gone down that road, because I have Netflix to finish.

Yes, binge watching shows is my go-to, it started last March with Tiger King and I haven’t stopped. I can usually get through a season of something in a weekend. I have been watching Kingdom for the last 3 months, this series is only 3 seasons and I am currently on the 3rd season now, but I need to take breaks from it.  Why? Because I absolutely love Jay Kulina.

Why I am obsessed with Jay Kulina…

I love this character because he’s sexy, witty and lives life like it’s his last day on earth. He trains hard, parties hard and loves hard.  Having a mother who had abandoned him has left him with deep seeded emotional issues. Even though he can be hot temper it is not without reason, he is fiercely protective of the people that he loves. As one love interest put it “His heart is too big for this world”.

Also, he can fill out a pair of man panties! Damn!

Why I need to take a break from Kingdom?

This show has everything, drama, romance, and MMA fighting. But I need to take breaks because Jay consumes my thoughts, I am embarrassed to say I cannot get the man out of my head. I think about what he has gone through and what he is going through. I understand his struggle to better himself and no one seeing him as nothing but the hot-headed fighter.

 I often wonder why is it so hard to meet to man like Jay? A man that has a passion for something, is loyal, will protect you at all cost and love you like there is no other.  Really what this comes down to is we need the world to go back to normal. I need to get out there and start meeting people so that I can stop fantasizing about a TV character!

In the meantime, I will get my Jay fix weekly and hope by the time I am done I can go back out in to the world.

Can you relate to this? Is there a TV crush that keeps you distracted? What have you been bingeing and why?

It’s not you….I’m asexual

I’m blogging again as a single gal. I was not going to post about anything that happened in my last relationship or in this case didn’t happen, but I think there may be others out there that need to know they are not alone. I was with my ex for 4 years, and now that I’ve had time to find me again I’m sharing my story.

As with all relationships, it started off with great expectations. I think that is where it all went wrong but that’s another blog post. Things were good, not great but sometimes you think you want something so bad you make it better then it is. There were signs in the beginning that told me this was not going to last forever but nothing prepared me for the emotional mind fuck of my partner telling me he that he was asexual. I Googled asexuality and just stared at this definition….

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a persistent lack of sexual attraction toward any gender. At least 1% of people are believed to be asexual.

Now you may be wondering how this conversation came about, it was actually a big issue in our relationship. After a couple years he was just not interested in me physically. Of course I internalized that but tell me how you couldn’t. Your with someone and they wanted you in the beginning but then lose interest. We had lengthy conversations about it. At first it was all about his past, his issues with his father and the trauma he caused. I was trying to understand and suggested he talk to someone to help him address these issues. He did go to one therapy session but decided he’ll deal with it on his own. Eventually this lead him to Google his lack of intimacy issues and he decided he was asexual.

I did not share this with anyone for a long while. I was so hurt and felt so rejected that I could not have anyone else know of my shame. It took a long time for that to fester into anger instead I went into sad ugly place. I stopped doing things I loved, this is not his doing, he just said the words but this is how I let them effect me. I just continued to go through the motions of being in a relationship until I could no longer stand myself. Yes I could not stand how I let myself go and I wanted more. I could no longer live in his world of anger and self pity, so I ended it.

Ending the relationship was the easy part it had ended long before I walked away. The hard part was the struggle to get my self-esteem back. When someone would rather believe they were asexual then be intimate with you it, it leaves a scar. You feel unloveable and it hurts. For anyone that is feeling this way at this moment I can tell you it’s their issues NOT yours, even thought this is true it will not sink in. You have probably told yourself over and over it’s not me, however deep down you don’t believe that.

The struggle is to get your beliefs about yourself to match all the good stuff you tell yourself. All the positive self talk in the world will do fuck all if you don’t believe what you’re saying! So how do you get yourself to the place of believing. Start by doing something that you love. For me that’s working out, nothing makes me feel stronger then when I feel like I’ve pushed myself.

What is that thing that makes you feel invincible?

All you need to do is find that thing. You know what it is, it’s whatever gives you joy. The thing that if you talk about it, you light up. Finding your thing will slowly lead to the new you! Start there the rest just falls into place. You will find your confidence again, you WILL feel desirable and loveable again. I am still working on me and that’s a good thing it’s when we stop working on ourselves that we let our truth be taken from us.

We are all lovable in our own ways, we just need to find the people that accept us as we are!

Remember you are not alone!

Twat Twoubles..

I decided to write to Single Gals, in hopes of discovering that I am not alone and can quit feeling like a whiny little “pussy.”  My Twat (“T”) is sad. No, it’s not what you think, it’s not sad for lack of “action,” as I do have a long term boyfriend who constantly tries to molest me… and with the problems I’ve been dealing with, thank God for that!
 For the last year, I’ve been dealing with endless amounts of bladder infections which of course always lead to yeast infections (thank you antibiotics) which then get passed on to my boyfriend and then back to me. It’s like an ugly game of Tag. I’ve also had the pleasure of contracting a bowel infection, which like a bladder infection gives you the sensation of constant urination, but SURPRISE!!! lots of urine actually does come out! It also creates a weird tingling feeling that doesn’t exactly feel bad, but is questionable.
 I have also discovered that my “T” is quite sensitive in nature. I cannot count the times I have lifted my leg onto the tub and angled that hand mirror between my legs only to discover tiny little cuts around the “T” opening. Where the hell did these come from??? My Doc told me that one of these “cuts” was exactly where you tear when giving birth. So unless an 8lbs baby slipped out of my “T” when I wasn’t looking, he has no idea where this came from. Oh wait…not before he told me that it is absolutely impossible for a man’s penis to cause this sort of damage, and asked if we’d been shoving any large “items” up there???? Like what?? A small watermelon perhaps? The best part about this is that the bacteria from the yeast infections tend to make themselves at home in these tiny cuts, therefore never giving me relief from that uncomfortable yeast itch. No, I am not joking and yes my hands are constantly down my pants trying to figure out some sort of liveable arrangement between my “T” and my bottom.
Now, you may be thinking, “this girl is really whiny and obviously sensitive”, or “her diet is lacking in probiotics,” or “she probably sits at a desk all day and suffocates her ‘T’ with fancy non-cotton underwear.” But let me assure you, I consider my diet pretty healthy. I am not a big drinker and I drink tons of water, and I don’t have a lot of yeast in my diet and I eat tonnes of proteins and vegetables. Although I wear thongs they are cotton and I sleep sans panties at night to let my poor “T” breath. Yet my vagina continues to be a real twat, even with the use of my organic tampons!
Anyway, the point of this blog is to spread the true troubles of one’s twat and hopefully for me to find out that I am not alone. If anyone out there has any suggestions/ideas please do share!!
Irritably Yours,
Twat Troubles

Speaking of Sweat

In my previous post I said don’t sweat the small stuff, so maybe at this moment that is exactly what you are doing. Well I think every girl needs to take a break from her hectic life to enjoy the little pleasures and this is my guilty pleasure. Every once in a while I watch this YouTube video for various reasons:

1) I love a sweaty man, not the man who sweats from just getting out of his chair but the man the works for his sweat whether it is from working out or hard manual labour it’s all good man sweat.

2) I have a huge crush on GSP, he makes my thighs quiver

3) I’m not so sure I want to be a champion but I sure would like to do one!

Enjoy ladies and when you find yourself sweating the small stuff take a break and watch this man sweat!

Cheers!

https://singlegals.ca/2011/02/09/7266/

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