Dirty Old Men Need Love To…

cultfit-me

Yesterday was like any other day. I went to work, hit the gym then took the dogs out for a walk. It was on my evening walk where thing got interesting. I was propositioned by a married man!

The Indecent Proposal….

I’ve been living in my condo now for almost two years and have run into this gentleman (we’ll call him Dirty John) a few times. If you’re a dog owner you know the small talk game. You usually talk about the weather, pretend to be embarrassed when your dog tries to hump their dog, etc. I’ve always kept the small talk with Dirty John to ‘hello”, ”how’s Pepper doing?” and, “enjoy your walk.” Yesterday however, I ask him if he knew that there was a coyote loose in the area. So we chat about that and I go on my merry way. Just another regular encounter in the park, until I run into him again just as we are walking home. He stops me and asks what I was doing for the rest of the evening, odd but I just said it’s TV time. He then proceeds to ask if I wanted some company … Hell No! This man lives with his wife in the building next to mine!. I said ‘NO, I’m good!’ and stormed off. 

 As I was walking away, the anger really set in. I was thinking why would he think that was ok? Then I recapped the whole encounter, trying to figure out what I did to make him think that my talking to him was more than general courtesy. I started to blame myself for HIS behaviour! I think we women, still to this day, blame ourselves much too often. We blame ourselves for how men behave towards us, how they talk to us, how we feel after a situation arises, how our friends and family will see us, and the list goes on. I felt I did something to encourage him, but in retrospect he probably thought what’s the worst thing that could happen? She’ll say no, but if she says yes………. 

I know I should not let this man’s behaviour change who I am, but on subconscious level it has. I will now be wary of whom I speak to and how friendly I am towards them. This is the harsh truth of the matter. My behaviour will change, but I am sure, his will not. Is this what men think now? That any woman who converses with them are sending a signal that they want them? Have we gone so far that we have forgotten basic social interactions? Are people so use to interacting on their phones that when the opportunity to have face to face conversation happens, it’s only for the purpose of getting sex? 

 I believe the most upsetting thing about this encounter is it makes me lose hope that I’ll find a good man. You know the man that wants to get to know me, not just fuck me. But I don’t seem to be having any luck finding that guy, but I can take my pick from the Dirty Johns of the world. I have to assume it’s me, and that I’m giving off some vibe that makes me a conquest rather than quest. It’s ironic if you think about it, I was with someone that did not want to have sex with me and now I only meet people that do and it still makes me feel bad. Where is the happy medium in all this? 

 Have you felt this way? 

Large Nat

Put a plug in it…

A butt plug that is

I have a friend and we’ve recently got on the topic of sex. It was more he shared a story from one of his college adventures and that just open the door to more of these conversations. I cannot repeat his collage story because as I told him I am one to many people that know, however I will share our recent conversation because I found it hilarious and it made me Google butt plugs..wtf?!

The conversation started off innocently enough until he said he had an asphalt guy and I thought he said ass plug guy. So that door swung wide open, and after we stopped laughing that just lead to this conversation:

Him – So Nat have you ever tried one.

Me- What? A butt plug? NO

Him- Oh you should, I hear it is very extense experience

Me- You heard this uh? So is this going to be another college story

Him- No I’m telling you so you can explore that area and you may discover you like it

Me- I just Googled butt plugs, so basically your telling me to bedazzle my asshole?

Him- OMG what are you looking at?

Me- I’m looking at the P-Diddy diamond stuck in someone’s asshole, I want a P-Diddy diamond but not up my ass! Oh and they have rabbit tails, fox tails and cat tails but I don’t see a smiley face. You’d think the smiley face would be a big seller because if you’re ass up wouldn’t it be nice for the person behind to see a smiling face looking back? I guess I can see the purpose of them, it’s better then having an angry asshole looking back at you.

He now laughing tells me this conversation has ended and that just set me off hysterics, I think he may have hung up on me but that’s okay he’ll call back.

I’ve never had this conversation with anyone before and I know that the anus is considered an erogenous zone, but it’s not an area I think about sexually. If you’ve ever had a barium enema you’d understand why. ( I’ll share that story in my future podcast, stay tuned)

Ladies have you explored this area? Is it extense? Please share, no judgement here I’m curious.

Remember you’re not alone!

She’s Peeing Dumbass

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It’s 2019 ladies and this is suppose to be the year of great change and manifestations coming true. Well yesterday was day 2 of the New Year and I started the day by telling someone off, kind of…

I woke up feeling pretty good, that morning was status quo until I took the dogs out for a walk. Daisy my pug mix was was enjoying her morning pee when I can hear someone yelling. I look to where the screeching was coming from and some old bitty was yelling from her car. I said pardon and she screams “pick up after your dog!”. I looked at her a little confused then realized that she thought that Daisy had taken a poop. So I yelled back “She is taking a piss you Dumbass!” Needless to say she drove off in a huff.

Was I wrong to say that to her?  I don’t think so because I held back from calling her an old C U Next Tuesday.

Here’s hoping that the New Year can only get better from here on out.

Cheers!

Large Nat

PS. I’m Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Are you addicted to your phone?

man-texting-while-on-date

In this wonderful new aged world that we live in we can do practically anything on our smart phones. We can pay our bills, make appointments, play games, take pictures, and connect to our social media outlets. But when is it enough? It seems everyone is more concerned with what is happening in the cyber world then with the real world. Has this become the new addiction?

There’s a commercial on the radio with a guy talking about how awesome his new smart phone is; even though it got him into trouble because he’d rather play with IT than his girlfriend (not so much those words but that’s the point they are trying to make). How does he solve his problem he buys her a dress using his awesome new phone and all is well ( because as you know we gals are easily placated when you buy us stuff). At the end of the commercial he says “What gets you into trouble will also get you out of trouble.” WTF? Or is it just me?

Am I wrong to think that you probably have an addiction if you believe it is more important to make comment on Facebook than to be present with the people in your company?

How can you tell if you are addicted?

  1. Do you go into panic mode the moment you realize you left your phone at home

       2.  Are checking it every 20 minutes (or less) even if you do not get a text or e-mail notification?

       3.  When out with friends, family, a date do you keep checking Facebook on your phone becoming oblivious of the person / people around you?

       4.  Do you spend more time having text conversations than you do interacting with people face to face?

       5.  Have you hurt a loved one’s feeling because you were so absorbed with the cyber world that you did not hear a word they said?

       6. Can you sit through a TV show without checking your phone during commercials?

If you have answered YES to 2 or more of the above then face it, you have an addition.

Basically if you think that you are spending too much time in the cyber world its simple … YOU ARE!

Remember everything is ok in moderation, but when it starts interfering with your ability to live in the moment, it’s time to cut back. Beside don’t you think it would be more enjoyable to actually laugh out loud; rather than write LOL?

Happy Saturday!

Hey Gals.

I’ve received various links to pic’s of hot men from my gals pals, and I’ve finally got the hint…It’s Yummo time!

Today’s Yummo, model André Hall was sent to me yesterday with the message ‘Yummo Material’ and yes he is. Have a great day gals!

Andre Hall

Andre Hall

Gone but never to be forgotten ….

 

Dianne 2

Last month  my very dear friend Tanya’s mom had lost her battle with cancer. Tanya is one of two of childhood friends (30 years of friendship), and each of our mothers have always been a part of all of our lives.

My mom constantly telling us to keep It down but secretly loving our noisy chatter… okay maybe not a 3am in morning when we woke the whole house up.  

Lynda, Dee’s mother (my other lifelong friend) embarrassing us by sleeping under a tree snoring with her shoes off and glasses hanging down her face out front of our college.

And Dianne, Tanya’s mother, this vibrant stylish lady who was always quick to say what nice girls we were.  Who on our prom night helped me with my Lee Press-On-Nails; later when I told her that one got stuck to my boob and my ass, she replied that these things happen. Knowing very well that they don’t happen, they only happen to me.

 She had a great way of always making you feel special.  We would joke and say that if you farted in front of Dianne she would tell you how wonderful it was, that she has never heard anything with such velocity , or nor has she smelt anything  like it. Tanya too has this gift; Dianne I know you are up there reading this probably saying “oh that Natalie she has such a way with words, such a thoughtful gal that one is.”

Dianne you will be missed but not forgotten, you live on through your daughters, in our hearts and our memories.  I have no doubt that your little patch of heaven is already full of vibrant colours and over crowded with old and new friends you are meeting up there. 

Here is what I have learned from this amazing lady:

  •        Tell people you appreciate them
  •        Be who you are
  •       Do what makes you happy
  •      Keep your girlfriends, Dianne once said how she was so happy that Tanya had such good friends and to never lose that.
  •   Always look your best, because you never know where your day will take you.  (I’m still working on this one)

Remember to cherished the ones you love, appreciate the small things, be true to yourself and always look your best because we did not know what’s around the corner, it could be Leo DiCaprio with a bunch of red roses and you would not want to be in you sweats for that!

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

First

As you all know I have recently become a plus one. I have been single for 6 years and have had a couple very short-term relationships, but never have I felt such an instant connection with someone; until now.  It has been a long while since I have been in a committed relationship so I’ve forgotten all the firsts:

1)      The first time meeting friends

2)      The first time meeting each other’s families

3)      The first time he spends the night

And so on…

This past weekend I meet his family for the first time. Even though I briefly met his mother a few weeks back it was just a hello, so on Sunday I met his mother, step-dad, sister and brother in-law for his mom’s birthday dinner. I was nervous because you want your partner’s family to like and accept you, and you know they are watching your every move, comment … etc.

I am a 5’ 9” blonde, blue-eyed, Irish / Métis Indian / French Canadian mix and he is 100% Korean. We’ve have know each other for almost two years, which makes this relationship is easy, and peaceful.  So YES I was worried his mom may not approve of me. I worried that she may want her son to be with a beautiful Korean girl so they could make beautiful Korean babies; or that she may be one of those mom’s that thinks NO girl is good enough for her baby boy.

Well I was wrong on all counts! Apparently I had her at ‘Hello’… That first encounter when I just said ‘Hi’ she gave ‘My Lover’ (okay his name is Steve but I’m going to call him my lover, just cause I can) a high-five and asked how he managed to get me.  When his mom and step-dad arrived at the restaurant on Sunday, she sat beside me and within minutes told me that if ‘My Lover’ does anything I do not like to tell her and she will set him straight. She also said that no matter what she will always take my side and told her son not to mess things up. Win! Win!

Never have I met a boyfriend’s mother that told her son to not mess things up. In past the mother’s in my partner’s lives have liked and grown to love me but they were always telling me what to do for their baby boys to make sure they are treated the way they treat them. Um if I wanted a baby boy I’d get pregnant, not date one! It’s so refreshing to finally meet a mom that does not think I have to cater to her son; rather he has to cater to me! To me this is just another sign that it was meant to be.

I loved his family they are lovely people, and by the end of the night his mom invited us to dinner next week, hugged and told me she loves me.

Next it will be ‘My Lover’s’ turn to be on the proverbial chopping block, when we spend the day with my brother’s family.  He will have to wait to meet my folks since they live in another province but I know they will be as accepting of him as his family was of me.

If you’re in a new relationship going through your “Firsts” I wish you luck, try not to over think it and just be you.

Cheers!

Large Nat

I think I have a problem…

Travel

I love traveling, it’s the little things that make people happy and for me that little tor maybe big thing is traveling. I have a tendency of coming back from vacations only to find myself booking another one. I think the universe works with me and knows that traveling makes me sane. I say this because it seems like there is always a seat sale calling my name. They also seem to magically appear right after I return from holidays. I can’t explain this it’s just how it is.

As you know I went away to El Salvador with Hopeful and we just got back on the 15th of Feb. As luck would have it, there happened to be an AMAZING deal to NYC. I love NYC and I couldn’t just ignore this deal, and since I wasn’t able to plan a big trip for my birthday, a weekend getaway to the Big Apple is the answer.

Traveling isn’t a cheap or always a convenient option for many but one of the benefits of being single and making your own money is that you can spend it where and how you want. I also have the luxury of jumping at things when they come up because it’s only me and my travel partner(s) that need to be involved.

I hope all you ladies (and men) find what makes you happy and if you haven’t may I suggest you look into traveling. As you may have figured out it’s not really a problem for me it’s my answer J

Any problems you wish to share?

Queen B

Queen B

Are U Flexible?

Roll with the punches

So ladies it’s another year and well as with any new year you start thinking what do I want to accomplish, be and do? To be honest I haven’t really thought about things in detail and maybe it’s for the best. I say this because sometimes we set goals in our life that take over or trump opportunities that come up because they conflict or interfere with what we think we need to do.

What I recommend for anyone is to be flexible. One of my goals for the year was to go away for my birthday, as it’s a milestone. Things got a little complicated as my new move in date for my condo is close to my bday which made the timing less than ideal. So what did I do, I went away before (with Hopeful).  I also plan to postpone a bday getaway until the fall or winter of the next year (when other friends will be celebrating milestone years), this trip may be big or it may just be a weekend away but whatever it is, it will be fun and exciting.

As a women who is driven and motivated it’s easy for me to say I’m going to do this or that and set a date out. This is not a bad thing, it’s human nature, but if your goals don’t allow you to be flexible or to seize opportunities they aren’t good goals. I won’t lie I’m a little disappointed that my bday timing doesn’t work but it’s not like I won’t celebrate in a big way and who knows maybe more friends can attend, and if not, that’s fine as well.

Remember to live for the moment, planning is great and needed but you need to roll with the punches and make the most of situations no matter what.

Queen B

Queen B

3 more items completed in my 101 Things in 1001 Days List

I am slowly knocking things off my list and now that I have crossed item #67 – Get a Boyfriend  ( and  I did not half to roofie him!) off the list that maybe with his help I will tackle more items and complete my mission of accomplishing all the tasks in 1001 days.

couple

I think I am going to make some changes to the list because there are a couple of task that I know will not get completed and I’d like to add items that I have talked about doing with my ‘Lover’ (don’t you just love that word) to the list. I don’t think there are any rules about changing the list… is there? Whatever I like to break rules!

Okay so now you know I have got me a boyfriend (a real living man), and being the great guy that he is; once he saw my list he set out to help me knock off item #39 – Have Dinner by Candlelight.

Dinner by Candlelight

Dinner by Candlelight

Next item to go is item #72 – Buy and wear a bikini.

The Bikini

The Bikini

Two weeks ago I went on vacation to El Salvador with Queen B, it was much-needed recharge vacation. Since I was going with a good friend and being in temperatures of 33 degrees I figured now is the time to buy a bikini. This may not be a big deal to most people but for me I rather go to the dentist and get a root canal.

I realized the older I get the more I worry about all my bits hanging out and other stupidity, like thoughts that people will run screaming upon seeing me half-naked.  So with my new-found confidence from being with someone who thinks I am awesome (true fact). I threw caution to the wind and sported a two piece and what do you know NO ONE ran away screaming that they are now blind. Actually the only issue to arise was that my bikini top expanded when it got wet and my boobs were bouncing around inside it like two buoy’s.

Next I will tackle reading Catcher in the Rye, maybe make poutine this weekend and watch Clockwork Orange.

Do you have a 101 Things List? If so where are you at in your list? Is it easier or harder than you thought it would be?

Cheer!

Large Nat

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