Would you live here?

Single Gals Utopia (A.K.A. Cougarville) – Where the grass is lush, and the bushes are trimmed.

I don’t plan on being single forever, but it may be the case. Dating today is hard and gets harder as we get older. The online dating world frustrates me to say the least. Meeting organically is impossible since we are all in lockdown. What are we Single Gals to do?

We should buy land…

Here’s my plan, I think we should ban together and purchase a big piece of land and build our own gated community. We all have our own homes with pools, tiki bars and an endless supply of wine.

Only good-looking men attend to the property, we’ll have pool boys, chefs and fitness instructors. We can sustain our community by selling our quarantine crafts. Ladies continue pom pomming, bedazzling, knitting, making mask sprays, beauty products and whatever else you’ve taken up during this past year.

In Single Gals Utopia there is no judgement! We will support, motivate, and rally for each other. No one will ever feel lonely and we will have an endless supply of hot men so we can all have one if we want

There will be activities such as:

  • Erotic book club with wine
  • Cooking classes with wine
  • Daily fitness classes (wine after)
  • Snow showing with wine (just because we need a winter activity)
  • Disco Friday’s (just for you Alison, you know who you are)

Our theme song will be:

Courgerville ♬

Nibblin’ on Nachos

Watchin’ the Pool boys

Waxing my legs with high hopes

Smellin’ the french fries♫

Wastin’ away in Cougarville

 looking for my corkscrew for a twist off top.

Some people claim there’s a man to blame and their right! 

 Everybody knows it’s his damn fault. ♫

Now the big Question…

Would you live here?

It’s not you….I’m asexual

I’m blogging again as a single gal. I was not going to post about anything that happened in my last relationship or in this case didn’t happen, but I think there may be others out there that need to know they are not alone. I was with my ex for 4 years, and now that I’ve had time to find me again I’m sharing my story.

As with all relationships, it started off with great expectations. I think that is where it all went wrong but that’s another blog post. Things were good, not great but sometimes you think you want something so bad you make it better then it is. There were signs in the beginning that told me this was not going to last forever but nothing prepared me for the emotional mind fuck of my partner telling me he that he was asexual. I Googled asexuality and just stared at this definition….

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a persistent lack of sexual attraction toward any gender. At least 1% of people are believed to be asexual.

Now you may be wondering how this conversation came about, it was actually a big issue in our relationship. After a couple years he was just not interested in me physically. Of course I internalized that but tell me how you couldn’t. Your with someone and they wanted you in the beginning but then lose interest. We had lengthy conversations about it. At first it was all about his past, his issues with his father and the trauma he caused. I was trying to understand and suggested he talk to someone to help him address these issues. He did go to one therapy session but decided he’ll deal with it on his own. Eventually this lead him to Google his lack of intimacy issues and he decided he was asexual.

I did not share this with anyone for a long while. I was so hurt and felt so rejected that I could not have anyone else know of my shame. It took a long time for that to fester into anger instead I went into sad ugly place. I stopped doing things I loved, this is not his doing, he just said the words but this is how I let them effect me. I just continued to go through the motions of being in a relationship until I could no longer stand myself. Yes I could not stand how I let myself go and I wanted more. I could no longer live in his world of anger and self pity, so I ended it.

Ending the relationship was the easy part it had ended long before I walked away. The hard part was the struggle to get my self-esteem back. When someone would rather believe they were asexual then be intimate with you it, it leaves a scar. You feel unloveable and it hurts. For anyone that is feeling this way at this moment I can tell you it’s their issues NOT yours, even thought this is true it will not sink in. You have probably told yourself over and over it’s not me, however deep down you don’t believe that.

The struggle is to get your beliefs about yourself to match all the good stuff you tell yourself. All the positive self talk in the world will do fuck all if you don’t believe what you’re saying! So how do you get yourself to the place of believing. Start by doing something that you love. For me that’s working out, nothing makes me feel stronger then when I feel like I’ve pushed myself.

What is that thing that makes you feel invincible?

All you need to do is find that thing. You know what it is, it’s whatever gives you joy. The thing that if you talk about it, you light up. Finding your thing will slowly lead to the new you! Start there the rest just falls into place. You will find your confidence again, you WILL feel desirable and loveable again. I am still working on me and that’s a good thing it’s when we stop working on ourselves that we let our truth be taken from us.

We are all lovable in our own ways, we just need to find the people that accept us as we are!

Remember you are not alone!

I think I have a problem…

Travel

I love traveling, it’s the little things that make people happy and for me that little tor maybe big thing is traveling. I have a tendency of coming back from vacations only to find myself booking another one. I think the universe works with me and knows that traveling makes me sane. I say this because it seems like there is always a seat sale calling my name. They also seem to magically appear right after I return from holidays. I can’t explain this it’s just how it is.

As you know I went away to El Salvador with Hopeful and we just got back on the 15th of Feb. As luck would have it, there happened to be an AMAZING deal to NYC. I love NYC and I couldn’t just ignore this deal, and since I wasn’t able to plan a big trip for my birthday, a weekend getaway to the Big Apple is the answer.

Traveling isn’t a cheap or always a convenient option for many but one of the benefits of being single and making your own money is that you can spend it where and how you want. I also have the luxury of jumping at things when they come up because it’s only me and my travel partner(s) that need to be involved.

I hope all you ladies (and men) find what makes you happy and if you haven’t may I suggest you look into traveling. As you may have figured out it’s not really a problem for me it’s my answer J

Any problems you wish to share?

Queen B

Queen B

Vacations, dates, condo living, weddings and boyfriends!

power_girl_we_re_back

Hey peeps I guess you may have wondered what happen to Single Gals or maybe not that’s cool too.

Well it’s been a busy start to the new year for the Single Gals team. Commando Barbie has gone on  25 first dates and her blog post on the experience will  be posted shortly.

Queen B is getting ready for her move into her new condo and going on vacations.

Glamour girl is getting married this year. So she been busy with planning the big day.

As for me I been busy trying to figure out how to juggle working full-time and doing my two part-time social media jobs now that I have a boyfriend. Yes you have read that right! I now have a boyfriend!

I’m working on the story for you gals but in short sometimes great things are staring us right in the face ….we just have to open our eyes.

The beauty of this budding romance is that he accepts me just as I am and its a wonderful thing.  I knew one day it would happen, I always say be true to who you are because it’s the right person that notices.

Recently I was on vacation in El Salvador with Queen B; we spent a week lying in the sun and watching Latin American pop videos. We have to say some of those Latin American singers are tres yummy and I’ll be posting them over the next few weeks as yummo’s  or as we said on vacation “I’d tap that!”

Yup I manage to find someone who accepts me as I am… I know, right !

Cheers!

Large Nat

 

Remember the little things…

Life can be so sad at times whether it’s the evils going on in the world or you own personal struggles. I have a few very special people in my life that are having some hard times these days, it hurts me because I have no way of helping other than lending an ear and a shoulder if needed.

So to all of you out there struggling with your own struggles remember it does get better and use your support system because that what good friends and family are here for, the good and hard times. Also NEVER feel bad or think you are burdening us, because there will come a day when we will need you.

Today I’d like to share some of the things that make me smile on a daily basis, they are little things but sometimes you have to take pleasure in the little things to help deal with the big things.

First is my screen saver of my dog Daisy (up front) and her BFF Doakes. Every day that I come into the office this is the first thing I see when I log on to my computer and it makes me laugh, I hope this too will bring a smile to your face.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

Second is the picture is my cork board in my office of the random things that make me smile. I figure since you have to spend most of you time at work try to surround yourself with the things you love.

Random things that makes me smile.

Random things that makes me smile.

Lastly my little Christmas tree, I love lighting it up every night, my cat spends 90% of her day under the tree so chances are when you look at it there will be two little eyeballs staring back at you.

Aloha Christmas

Aloha Christmas

Other things that make me smile on a daily basis are my morning coffee, the giant advertisement of Django which is a big picture of Leo DiCapiro and seeing Daisy making a strangers day with her kisses.

The evil side of me gets joy in knowing that my brother is stressing over his xams gift from me. In past I have taken him on meditation seminars in which I fell asleep, another time we saw Eckhart Tolle speak; again I fell asleep…so anything is possible this year! (insert evil laugh)

I love getting random voice messages from my lovely dingy bestie who in her sing-song voice tells me she loves me; it makes me giggle and makes my heart happy at the same time.

So if someone you know is feeling down, send them a silly picture, or leave them a silly voice message. It’s a little thing but it lets people know you are thinking of them and sometimes that all we need.

What little thing makes you happy?

%d bloggers like this: